Fiqh of Love in Islam pdf download

Fiqh of Love in Islam

FIQH OF LOVE IN ISLAM

“ومن آياته أن خلق لكم من أنفسكم أزواجا لتسكنوا إليها وجعل بينكم مودة ورحمة إن في ذلك لآيات لقوم يتفكرون” 

“And among His signs is this that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (hearts). Verily in that are signs for those who reflect.” Ar-room 30:21.121 

Islam and Love 

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم في خديجة – رضي الله عنها – : “إني رزقت حبها.” 

The Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallm speaking about his wife Khadija said: “Verily, I was filled with love for her.” 

Mawahdah – love/intimacy Wa rahma – mercy 

1. Love: The definition 

As a noun 

Strong and positive emotion of regard and affection Passion Any object of form or affection Beloved Dearest Sexual love (lust and desire) 

Love making As a verb – Liking for someone; having great affection A feeling of intense affection given freely without any restriction Love exists in all persons either with sensibility (for all people) or passion 

(strongly excited or a particular person) 

2. The Nature of Love 

Hub – Love 

Ishq – deeper love and becomes obsessive and commit haraam deeds. Love is a human sickness (Psychological) Spiritually: natural instinct Sacrificial love – religious love (ex. Allah) Muslim Scholars – Al Jaahab/ Ibn Qiyah in the book of Al Nisa (book of 

women) say the difference between Hub – which they think is natural 

and Ishq is something intellectual, going beyond for what they desire. Muhammad Ibn Dawood – Al Zooah 

Speak about the 100 qualities of Bin Udrah on how they exercised love in their life All scholars share the same theory – about similarities of two people Datul hadif- long conversations; hugging; kissing Arabs say – the eye is the white gate into the heart The three pillars 

Attributes of the beloved one Feelings of love – intention (you have choice) and inclination 

Relationship similarities between two people 4 steps to develop love 

Using your eye (sight of heart). You should not describe another woman to a married man Admiration – to various characteristics Obsession – thoughts of future, logistics Building hope and establishing commitment – if you don’t then you are looking for haraam things 

3. The categories of love 

Natural love/passion Rational/religious love All forms of love are parallel unless one does not surpass the other (this become shirk) 

4. The signs of love 

The broadening gaze Directing the conversations to a beloved one Resemblance Engage in a playful tug of war – breaking plates Opposite do attract Sometimes they fight – it is a sign of love Hurrying to their locations Happy/cheerful when close Weeping Dec. sleep and appetite 

5. The ruling of love in Islam 

Love is not in your hand, it is in Allah’s hand Surah Al-Imran (A 14) – desire to love from women. Men to women and  vice versa Those who don’t love are the people who are hard as rocks. They are two types 

Optional – leads to love; sudden look Natural – how you are going to react to this will be asked by Allah 

From the Sunnah of Prophet (s)… Ibn Majjah: A man came to Rasullah and said that “Yah Rasullah, we are taking care of an orphan girl. A man came and said that two men came and asked for the hand in marriage for the orphan girl, one rich one poor, but she loves the poor man. He said that “we liked the rich man”.

The man said “who should I choose?” Rasullah told him to allow the girl to marry the poor one. The mate should not be judged on their status, or wealth 

Amr bin Aas came to the Prophet (s) after he gave Amr the commander of an expedition, and asked, “O Rasulllah, who is the most beloved to you amongst all mankind?” Rasullah said, “Aisha”. Amr said, “Then?” Rasullah said, “Her father” (Sahih Bukhari) 

Fatimah, daughter of Prophet (s), came to the Prophet (s) and said for him to be just with the other wives. The Prophet (s) said that, “I love her (Aisha), so love her too”. Fatimah said, “I love her”. Az-Zuhri said: “the first love recognized in Islam was the love of the Prophet (s) for Aisha” 

6. Stories of love 

Love – do not have control over it; you will not be accounted unless you pursue in unlawful way. – Predating Islamic era 

Arabs are considered to be lustful people Antara – He was born from a female slave. Al Abdah – was his cousin from a free women 

He was inferior because of the way he was born. He became the strongest warrior of his tribe. He even asked for his cousin’s hand in marriage but her father refused her hand. Started to write Arab poetry. 

– Islamic era 

The first love in Islam was recognized by Prophet SWS for Ayesha RTA. 

He loved Ayesha RTA more than his other wives. Last thing Prophet had in his mouth was Ayesha RTA saliva – because she 

just fixed his miswak for him If love happens naturally then you are not answerable to Allah. Hub – came from many narrations 

7. Scholarly works on love 

Kitalb us-Zohra – by Mohammed Ibn Dawood Zammul Hawaah – by Ibn Jowsi (condemning desire & lust) Raudatul Muhibbin – by Ibn Al Qairi Al Masoon – Ibrahim Al Husari (preserved, protected) 

1. Al Bousseeri said in his poetry: “Does the lover think that his love can be concealed? While his eyes are shedding tears and his heart is glowing, Had it not been for love, you would not have shed tears at the ruins (of your beloved), nor would you become restless at the remembrance of the cypress (tree) at the high mountain, How do you deny love after the testimony, Borne against you by (such) reliable witnesses as your tears and your illness.”[3] 

 Falling in love 

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم للعباس عمه في قصة مغیث و بريرة: “يا عباس ألا تعجب من حب مغیث بريرة , وبغض بريرة مغيثا؟” 

The Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam was telling his uncle Al Abbas the story of Mugheeth and Bareerah, he said: “O Abbas! Isn’t it amazing how much Mugheeth loves Bareerah and how much Bareerah hates Mugheeth?” 

Excess of love cause loss of shyness 

Prophet (s) and telling the story of Bareerah (slave girl) and Mugheeth (owner) to his uncle Al-Abbas. Aisha bought the slave girl and freed her. Mugheeth married Bareerah, but she left him.

Mugheeth loved her so much and was crying in public for her. Prophet (s) was asked to intercede and he asked Bareerah if she wanted to take him back. She didn’t want to take him back and Prophet (s) was fine with this, so Mugheeth spent the rest of his life crying for her.

 Mugheeth was acting on his own human nature – Prophet (s) did not prohibit his actions because he saw it was out of Mugheeth’s hands. Prophet (s) felt mercy for Mugheeth because of his love for Bareerah.  Ibn Hajjar said it is permissible for this feeling of human nature. 

1. The mystery of the ‘in-love’ case 

Love is the nutrition for the soul Love is illusive – because it does not last forever and attachment to physical characters 

The average romantic life is 2 yrs “In Love” is a temporary emotion 

2. The gradual levels of love 

Al Mayaa – inclination of heart Al Hawwa – desire Al Mawaddah – love As Sabawa – obsession Al Walaa – madness Al Guyam – craziness 

Antatayyum – the highest level of admiration/love 

3. The means of nurturing love. How to keep love alive 

Think love is action, practice it on a daily basis 

Love is like a tank, and you need to fill it periodically Love is also like a bank account, you need to deposit in early days of marriage, that way you can withdraw it in your middle age crises.

Confession – Say “Honey I love you”, say it sincerely and don’t lie. Correspondence is good – try doing it. Sahaba’s used to do it often. Ex. 

Gifts, flowers, post cards Mutual obedience and respect from your spouse Acts of amusements 

4. What harms love? 

Exploitation of affection Acts of disrespect Slanderer – creating Fitnah out of jealousy and ignorance Long and unnecessary distance Infidelity and betrayal Television/computer 

5. Sex, passions and love: are they synonymous? 

No Women think of love as empathy and sympathy from their husband, while men think of sex Sexual intercourse can harm love?

 A sinful relationship will cause animosity and hatred, but this relationship (sex) that is halal will increase love between husband and wife 

6. Decency or indecency? 

The inclination to the desire is equal for the men and the women. Both have the choice to guard their chastity. If you expose yourself to the sinful path, you will be punished especially if 

you are in an area of righteousness 

7. What then is: Real Love?

When Amr ibn-ul Aas radi allahu anhu asked the Messenger of Allah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam who the most beloved person was for him, He answered: “Aisha.” He then said: “From men?” He replied: “Her father.” 

قال الزهري: “أول حب كان في الإسلام حب النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم عائشة رضي الله عنها، وكان مسروق يسميها حبيبة رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم” روى ذلك الإمام ابن القيم 

Imam Az-zuhri said: “The first love story ever known in the history of Islam was the love of Rasulullah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam for Aisha, and Masrouq used to call her The love of Rasulullah salla Allahu alayhi wa sallam.” Ibnul Qayyim in Raoudatul Muhibbeen. 

1. The most rehearsed love story in history 

The first love story ever know in the history of Islam was the love of Prophet SAS for Ayesha and Masrooq used to call her The Love of Prophet 

The love was not practiced 2. From the story of Romeo and Juliet 

They never got married and they were not put the test of life – marriage. 3. Infidelity in the western family life 4. Muslims at the door step of the western version of Marriage, why? 

Why love stories don’t last forever? People take wrong examples for  marriage like celebrities, where marriages don’t last long The pre-marriage relationship – they consume their emotions, passions, love 

and when they start plan to marry they break and marry some place else Friend marriage – usually happens on the campuses – (zina) Divorce rates are getting high – either Denmark or Sweden, US, and Turkey Lack of knowledge – we just get married by the tradition, obligation, rights of marriages etc Feminist and independence – women are getting more independent and responsible. This would mean that men will loose the authority of the home 5.

The real love story 

Rasulallah – Khadeejah – Rasulallah giving meat to friends of Khadijah, 

and Aisha got mad and made a bad comment about her. He got mad and told her to not say anything bad about Khadijah because she was there for him in his time of need the most Rasulallah – Ayesha Rauslallah – The wives 

Who was the most beloved wife? Invalid question because they lived in different times so can’t compare. Khadijah was the best for her time… Aisha was the best for her time… 

“The main concept of the Fiqh of Love is to learn, appreciate and respect as a spouse; what is your right and what is your obligation”4 

Love Marriage and Family life 

“يا أيها الناس اتقوا ربكم الذي خلقكم من نفس واحدة وخلق منها زوجها وبث منهما رجالا كثيرا ونساءا واتقوا الله الذي تساءلون به والأرحام إن الله كان عليكم رقيبا.” | 

“O Mankind, be conscious of your duty to your Lord, who created you from a single soul, created of like nature his mate and from the two created and spread many men and women, and be mindful of your duty to Allah whose name you appeal to one another and to (the ties of) the womb. Verily, Allah watches over you.” An-nisaa’ 4:1 

The Status of Family in Islam 

1. Family life: basic principles 

✓ The family system is divinely inspired institution. Allah SWT called 

Marriage a (Methaakan Galidah) “strong and dangerous covenant” – serious (not easy contract) regulation of divorce, child custody 

Social contract: lends to relationship beyond contracting parties. 

Children with marriage – no legal relations (no right of inheritance)

✓ Faith and family 

Men are also respectable for children 

Marrying non-muslims is forbidden for Muslim women, but for man its ok

Faithful people should marry each other.

Faith matters when it come to inheritance Forbidden outside marriage relationships Free mixing is not allowed as it leads to haraam things and you might get married with out the extended family 

2. Structures and rules 

Even if you are divorced the family remains intact Closest fold – Husband and wife, their children’s, their parents, and slaves Central fold – close relative who have special roles and who move freely inside the house and marriage is forbidden.

Hijab is not required 

Other fold – really extended family, maternal uncle and aunt, nieces and nephews, step kids Distance fold – Collateral relatives like cousins Men 

The oldest member of the family is considered the head of the family – they are considered more wiser, more respected etc 

The man’s major responsibility lies outside the family Women 

The major responsibility is at the house 

The eldest female is the head of the social life Equal right and responsibility or even rights or responsibility – it is more inclined towards even rights 

3. Love, Marriage and Family life 

Family life has to be established by marriage Marriage in Islam is the only legal way to express love to your spouse. So if you have an illegitimate affairs it has to go through with marriage to be legal 

4. The Family and society 

Islamic law came to protect the structure to protect sex out of marriage to protect the family It is important for the Ummah and the community. It is based on Deen and faith and should be looked at as an ideological 

society 

The structure of Family law 

1. Family law: The definition 

The ruling (Ihkam) of fiqh the regulates the relationship of a man and 

women starts with marriage and ends with the distribution of estates and inheritance 

2. The characteristics of Islamic law 

Nobility of the goal and the end; can never change the law because it is 

from Allah

 ✓ Human being should recreate themselves by the rule of Islam

✓ The divine inspiration for family law ( not made by humans)

✓ The application is the act of worship The generalization and comprehensive are regulated by relationship of Allah and everyone in the family system 

3. The areas covered by Islamic family law Marriage and its rulings Contract, dowry, match, etc Separation forms and its rulings Death, divorce, ghulm (divorce by women), Al lian (spouse accuses of adultery and they only know themselves) Child rights and its rulings Inheritance Law and its rulings 

History of Marriage 

1. Marriage: The definition 

It was redefined from all mankind. It is a legal union between one man and one women

As set of cultural rules for bringing men and women together to bring the family together An ancient practice as taken a life’s term companion for sexual partner A civil contract between a man and a women A man and women living as husband and wife together

A legally recognized and or socially approved arranged between two individuals that carries certain rights and responsibilities that involves sexual activities 

2. The first marriage

‘Adam and Eve’  Zoug – spouse Scholars say they did not have intercourse in Jannah, because they did not 

know about their private parts Marriage was first established when he created Adam and Hawwa.

The details of this marriage only Allah knows best. The oldest family known to mankind is the marriage of Adam and Hawwa 

3. Marriage before Islam 

✓ Marriage in ancient history Marriage in other religions 

Jews – contract of marriage is almost similar to the Islamic contract. 

They should be relatives, legal obligations etc. Also similar because of Musa (AS) who brought the shariah. Christian – when Isa (AS) did not bring any ruling when he came. 

The perfect way was to get married is to have a church wedding. They did not have a concept of family.