Guidelines for a Successful Marriage

Guidelines for a Successful Marriage

GUIDELINES FOR A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

Book’s Introduction

The sanctity and status of marriage is great in Islam, and it is especially

encouraged among the youth. Marriage is an institution that unites a man and woman in a permissible and, indeed, much encouraged relationship.

The couple starts their journey together, each finding comfort in the other in straitened times, and each enjoying the other’s company in prosperous and easy times.

In the Quran, Allaah The Almighty calls upon us to ponder on the beautiful and sacred relationship of marriage: {And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your [hearts]} [Quran, 30:21]

Marriage creates a powerful bond which, with mutual affection and sacrifice, establishes a strong Muslim family where offspring are provided with a suitably adherent and practicing environment. Thus, the couple’s children will not only be born Muslims, but will live Islam in its true spirit and develop the character and behavior of true Muslims.

A Muslim society rests upon the Muslim family, and when the family’s members are trained from childhood to acquire Islamic morals, compete with one another in doing good deeds and engage in productive activities, the Muslim society is strong indeed.

Furthermore, it is not unreasonable to say that the Muslim family rests upon the righteous wife and mother, who are the pillar, cornerstone and foundation of the family.

 One of the greatest blessings Allaah The Almighty can bestow upon a man is to give him a wife who is righteous and well-grounded in Islamic teachings. Such a wife is a source of solace, good companionship and comfort to her husband, and Prophet Muhammad, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, rightly said:

 “This world is just temporary conveniences, and the best comfort in this world is a righteous woman.” [Muslim]

Islam has given the husband rights upon his wife, and the wife rights upon her

husband. To achieve marital harmony and a blissful married life, both husband and wife should ensure they are fulfilling their spouse’s right upon them.

Prophetic guidance for women

• Choose a good husband

In Islam, the woman has the right to choose her own husband, and it is

impermissible for her parents to force her into marriage with someone she finds disagreeable. Imaam Al-Bukhaari, may Allaah have mercy upon him, reported from Al-Khansaa’ bint Khidaam, may Allaah be pleased with her, that she said,

“My father married me to his nephew, and I did not like this match, so I complained to the Messenger of Allaah, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam.

He said to me: ‘Accept what your father has arranged.’ I said, ‘I do not wish to accept what my father has arranged.’ He said: ‘Then this marriage is invalid, go and marry whomever you wish.’

 I said, ‘I have accepted what my father has arranged, but I wanted women to know that fathers have no right in their daughter’s matters (i.e. they have no right to force a marriage on them).’” [Fat-hul Baari]

Thus, we see that, in the beginning, the Prophet, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, told Al-Khansaa’, may Allaah be pleased with her, to obey her father’s wishes, as the father is certainly concerned about the well-being of his daughter.

But when he, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, heard from her that she did not want that match and was unwilling to marry the man her father had chosen for her, he gave her the freedom to choose.

This saying of the Prophet’s, sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam, makes it impermissible for fathers to force their daughters into an unwanted marriage, as this is a form of oppression that Islam does not accept.